...love...my two cents worth.

**NOTE 12/15/05: Bro, please check this link >>> Joisa's Blog Post on Friendster

what she has to say and what i have to say in the post below affirm each other, (incase you needed a second opinion)**

**NOTE 12/12/05: Hiya peeps! I'm making this post public now with the permission of the great guy who i wrote this email to. Just my two cents worth, hope it comes in handy sometime.(originally composed 12/02/05)**

Ei Bro!

Sup? It’s been quite a while now hasn’t it? Well I’m just glad you’re doing better than last time.

Dude you’ve asked me this time and again, “How would I know if I’m in love?” and always I tell you, “You just know.” Hence, if you’re planning to ask me if you are in love with someone, well more than likely the answer is no. Set yourself free! Hang loose! Don’t you dare even think of analyzing love and the symptoms of it lest you want to drive yourself crazy. Don’t think more than you have to. Love comes, love goes, love remains. You feel it, not think about nor analyze it. Have you been hurt? Have you felt pain? Insult maybe Or maybe even treachery? Now despite those feelings, do you still long for the person? Do you find it possible to forgive and see through the pain, dirt and confusion? If you do then there you go, that’s love. You just “know” it’s there. No analysis needed, no scientific methods of deduction and soving.

You could and will reach your extremes, be it joy or despair, anger or calmness and despite what you feel you could still find in your heart happiness for “the one.” She could tell you to your face “I’m in love with someone else…” and you would just smile though your heart is breaking and tell her you’re happy for her. She could spit in your face and insult you but the moment she trips and falls you would still be there to catch her. Hah! The irony and the beauty of love.

Beauty maybe but skin deep, but not so when it pertains to the beauty of someone in love, for that person’s beauty transcends anything and everything. How come? Because it is the kind of beauty that rests not on the surface, but is rooted deep in the soul. Another reason why you will just “know” when you’re in love. Love is in your heritage, it is in your being. Love is who you are. Remember, you were created in His image and likeness, the likeness of love. It is your nature, it is in you. It is not something you learn, it is what you ARE. Search for love within yourself, ask Him, and I guarante you’ll find love. Have faith.

Remember the story I told you? The story of the old man with a scarred and bleeding heart and the young man with a clean and shining heart? I hope you do. Remember, the heart that has bled, lost a few pieces and gained a few, is a heart that has truly loved.

Well, I gotta go for now bro. Till next we meet. Keep yourself in prayer. I’ll be around whenever you need me. Oh and next time drinks are on me.

God Bless!

-Rey

lumabas mula sa bughaw

...ala lang...zzzzzzz.

Unang Sugat
lyrics by: Rey
music by: (tbd)


Tanda ko pa noon
Ikaw ang una kong pag-ibig
Mga salitang kay tamis
Sariwa sa iyong bibig.

Mga pangakong kailan man
Pagiibigan ay di mabubuwag.
Paglalambing na ubod ng tamis
Magkayakap magdamag.

Ngunit di rin nagtagal
Ako'y iyong pinagtaksilan.
Puso'y ibinasura
Ipinagpalit na sa iba.

Unang sugat sa puso
Hatid ng pagtalikod sa pangako
Unang sugat sa puso
Dala ng pag-ibig na bigo
Unang sugat ng puso
Magpakailanma'y magdurugo.

Tumakas sa karimlan ng mundo
Nagisip pinagnilayan ng husto.
Ganito ba talaga ang buhay
May madidilim na kulay?

Pinatibay ang loob
At nagbalik sa liwanag.
Nabuhay muli at ngumiti
Ngunit di na maibabalik ang dati.

Unang sugat sa puso
Hatid ng pagtalikod sa pangako
Unang sugat sa puso
Dala ng pag-ibig na bigo
Unang sugat ng puso
Magpakailanma'y magdurugo.

Di nagtagal at natutong umibig muli
Huminga ng malalim at nagbakasakali
Muling lumiwanag ang mundo pusoy nabuhay
Nangarap na sa nga ito na ang pinakahihintay

Ngunit sa gitna ng puso'y meron pa rin umaagos
Mula sa isang sugat, dugong hindi maubos

Unang sugat sa puso
Hatid ng pagtalikod sa pangako
Unang sugat sa puso
Dala ng pag-ibig na bigo
Unang sugat ng puso
Magpakailanma'y magdurugo. (2x)

Unang sugat ng puso
Dahil sayo'y nagdurugo.

...maybe.

Spoke with a friend early this morning...she cried over the phone.

She always had this secret crush on her bestfriend but she never let him know. For years know she just admired him from afar, hoping somehow someday he would notice her in a different....more romantic way. Alas he never did though he kept her close to his heart. She was his bestfriend, his confidant, his shoulder to cry on. And she has been ever vigilant and responsible as such while secretly harboring this silent crush.

Today though it seemed like she's about ready to give up hoping that he would ever see her as anything more than a best friend, so she called to just let it all out. I felt for her, also I felt blessed enough for not being in the same predicament, though the situation is something not entirely unknown to me.

Till now i hear her cringing voice...and as if I were an empath, I could almost feel what she feels...here's a lil' something to let it all out.

Hope you feel better soon!

 

Maybe
-rey

Maybe it's time I stopped dreaming
Of the time you would ask me to stay,
Look me in the eye, ask me why
I just keep falling for you this way.

Maybe it's just not meant to be
Waking up with you right by my side,
Holding your hand each night and day
Feeling the warmth of your love inside

Maybe I should stop loving you
Though it grows deeper each passing day.
I should just stop hurting myself
Stop hoping your heart would look my way.

Maybe it's time that I moved on
Though I know I'll never be the same.
But know that even though I've gone
In my heart you will always remain.

I ramble on...then write a poem.

Haha! Season 5 of Smallville has begun! Did anyone watch it? I did! Anyway I was fascinated by the way they presented Clark's discovery of the Fortress of Solitude. That is one part of the Smallville-Superman story that I have been eager to find out how they would put on film, and honestly, I'm not disappointed. One thing about the episode thoug...I believe there should have been 3 Kryptonians searching for Clark who were trapped in that trans-dimensional thingie. Well, maybe the third one is that guy who showed up in the end of the episode (Spike from Buffy.) Oh yeah, i liked the Lana & Clark scene at the hospital towards the end. How Clark indirectly asked Lana it she meant saying she loves her in the barn the day before and how Lana asked Clark back. And of course Clark answered with a kiss instead of words.

Pardon my rambling if it gets incoherent and if I got typos, the screen is currently minimized as my boss ir right behind me. Heheheh.

Of Love And Lust
-rey

Dusk conquers the land
As I watch your silhouette
And the splendor it adds
To the divine sunset.

A shadow of temptation
Triggering an insatiable craving.
Captivated, I am zombified
Body and soul starts raving.

I hold your hand
And feel its warmth.
Compliment it with a kiss,
Fueled by the pyres of my heart.

I wrap you in a warm embrace
And caress your every curve
Teasing your vulnerable spots
Alluring every nerve.

I bear you in a lovers’ carry
And lay you down in bed.
Tuck you inbetween the sheets
And leave a kiss on your forehead.

I slip right beside you
And cross your legs with mine.
I place my arms around you
I kiss your neck, we entwine.

Good night my dear, goodnight.
Blessed am I to see your face
Right before I end this day
Blessed am I to end it with you this way.

Good night my dear, good night.
I reach and turn off the lights.
Good night my dear good night.
Don’t hold your moans and sighs.

...soap operas are bad for you.

...i've been watching too many episodes of American soap operas and now I'm haunted by the stories so much that this poem is well...soap-ish...LOL!



Torn
-rey

hE loved her.
She loved hIm.
He loved her.
She loved him.

He loves her,
She once was with him.
They stayed together.
Until fate's playful whim.

She found hIm.
hE loved her.
She loved hIm.
They stayed together.

Fate felt playful.
Played one more game.
Hurt them till they turned hateful.
Now nothing is the same.

She drowns in tears.
He fills with indignation.
hE boils with frustration.
A recipe for destruction.

With fires of passion
He calls her back.
She thinks not now, not yet.
He thinks, the stage is set.

With hunger for justice
hE calls her back.
She thinks not now, not yet.
Again, hE's heart-broken, upset.

A grand love triangle
Confused and passionate at every angle.
A bomb set to explode.
With the slightest bump on the road.

He asks her
What does hE have that i don't?
She bites her lip and says,
"A passion for loving me."

hE confronts her
What does He have that i don't?
With a heavy heart she answers
"Security, stability."

She hides her face
She doesnt want them to see.
What hE really has
Is her heart & soul entirely.

Or does hE?

If you know better, BE better.

...to a friend who knew better, rest in peace.
...and to those who need a reminder, please be reminded and learn from his mistake.


Live For Tonight (‘Coz Tomorrow Never Comes)
(A tribute to a friend who knew better)
-rey

Begin the night
Head for the light.
Walk through the door
And raise 'em up high.
Conquer the floor
Glide and fly!

The night is young
So blast that song.
Go pump it up
Light that stick.
Sing to the top
And puff the nic!

Night hits its peak
G'nyt to the weak.
Keep moving to the groove
Time for shots and booze.
Go waste the noob
You puke you loose!

The ungodly hours
Time to boost pow'rs.
Take out the pipes
Pour out the powder.
Bring it to a new hype
Hit it and holler!

Dawn beckons
Sing the last song.
Last puffs, last shots.
Last taste of the rocks.
Drive home, see spots
Lights by the train tracks!

Oh fuck.

Sometimes I just get tired

...sometimes i just get tired and stop... oh, and this is NOT for someone but for something, a principle maybe, or an idea, or an effort.....

I Live
-rey

I live.
I laugh.
I love.
Enough.

I live.
I sway.
I feel.
Betrayed.

I live.
I cry.
I try.
Deny.

I live.
I shy.
I quit.
Goodbye.

My Piece of Peace

...tis funny what thoughts come to your mind when you stare out the window. the last time i stared i realized my piece of peace

My Piece of Peace
-rey

Absence of tension?
Freedom from pain?
Maybe the sunset on the horizon
Or simply getting out of the rain.

What is my piece of peace?
Where do I find it?
When do I indulge in it?
I know, I know when it comes by.
I know where it lies.

Its not the sunrise nor the sunset.
Nor the beauty of any sonnet.
It’s not in the absence of worries.
But I might find it in one lady’s kiss.

It’s not the relief of getting off work.
Neither the quiet of the library.
It’s not the song of the nightingale.
Nor the words of my favorite story.

My piece of peace is a marvel to behold.
With a smile that beams like the sun
A heart more precious than gold

My piece of peace lies where you are.
My piece of peace is in what you do.
Sharing life through stories till dark,
Exchanging laughs and sighs, even frustrations too.

I find it when I look at you
I find it when I hear your voice
I find it when I feel your presence
I feel it as I share your joys.

When you read in a corner,
When you study at a distance.
When you lie asleep by my side,
When we go out for a ride.

When I confide in you,
When you confide in me.
When we run errands for family,
Even when we act silly.

That’s where I find my smile.
That’s where I find my true self.
That’s where I am at ease.
That’s where I find my piece of peace.

3...2...1

Three Quarters, Two Value Meals, One Important Lesson
-rey

Winter of 2002 all the way to spring of 2003 found me working and loafing around the campaign headquarters of one of the council members of the City of Los Angeles. Then, I was working as a database manager for his entire re-election campaign. As massive as the work load seemed to be it was not so hard to manage the database which had hundreds of thousands of voters’ info in it. I worked flex time and rarely worked for more than six hours a day, I had a very good salary too. Often, I'd be in and out of the office. Coming in whenever they needed me, then leaving again once I got bored doing nothing...or I'd be downloading anime and mp3s.

During the peak of the campaign period I usually came in at nine o'clock at night to attend the staff meeting, and then proceed to managing my databases, printing reports, running statistics and entering newly acquired data courtesy of the volunteers. All these would be done and over with usually by two in the morning. With that all done I lock the office and start walking the mile home. I had a good job, I had money, I had what many yuppies yearned to start off with, but I was not happy. Still this was not where I wanted to be. Still this was not my idea of a good life. Still this is not what I thought would bring a genuine smile to my face.

On the way home from the office, I have to cross a freeway off ramp where two bums always spend the night, and sometimes even the day, hoping to be able to get a handful of loose change from the cars that exit the freeway. One of them is Latino, the other, Caucasian. And as I pass by at night walking home I usually smile at them and bid them good night, and so do they. Probably once every two weeks when I have to report to the office early to troubleshoot or do some emergency statistics runs, I hand them my leftover breakfast from McDonalds. Often a whole breakfast sandwich and a large drink. But in my rush I don't even have the time to receive their thanks.

One morning, about two weeks before election day, I found myself walking home at exactly 10 in the morning. It was the first day I worked for 12 hours straight in my entire life. It was getting close to crunch time for our candidate and the data I process every night is oh-so-important to determine the next moves and pushes of the campaign. As I passed by the freeway off ramp I saw just one of duo, the Caucasian one. I smiled as always, gave him three quarters, and as a polite gesture bid him good morning and asked, "Where's your compadre?" To which his reply surprised me. He looked down at his feet, his smile was wiped off his face and his eyes glazed. I found myself in an awkward position and so to break the moment I blurted out, "Want to have breakfast man?" He looked me straight in the eyes, shocked but still misty eyed. Finally with a cringing voice he replied, "Sure. If it's alright with you." "Are you good for a quick meal at Mickey Dees?" I asked. He nodded. And so we started to walk towards the nearest McDonalds which was a couple of houses away from where I lived.

Once there I asked him, "So what will it be?" Again a look of surprise was painted on his face. "I'll just get what you don't finish." He said. "Are you kidding me? If you wait for that you won't get nothin' but empty wrappers, a fries box and an empty glass of soda! I haven't eaten for twelve hours dude, I'm freakin' starving!" He hesitated and finally decided he wanted a regular french fries. "Hey, I didn't drag you all the way here just for a small french fries. I asked you out to breakfast and therefore I'll treat you to breakfast, not just fries. Tell you what, I'll get you what I'm getting, a super sized Big Mac Meal aite? And I'll get you the 2 Cheeseburgers Meal to go for later." He stared at me with disbelief.

Once we had our food, I opted to sit outside. First of all because I didn't want his smell to offend the other people in the fast food and second I loved the morning spring breezes in Southern California. I was excited and longing to dig in. I opened the box of my Big Mac, prepared the ranch dressing for my fries, dipped a couple of fries and put them in my mouth. Then I felt embarrassed. Right in front of me was this dirty Caucasian bum, most likely 10 times hungrier than I was and he was praying. I stopped and waited for him to finish his prayer. When he started eating, only then did I continue. After a while he told me about his compadre. "He left a few days ago to head to downtown. He took the 84. Hasn't come back since. I'm worried. He drinks too much that he forgets. But I pray for him." A tear rolled down his cheek. "You pray for him?" I asked. "Yes I do. Everyday. Even more when he left and didn't come back." "Then he would be just fine wherever he is." I said. Still worried, he tried to crack a smile and nod. Then he asked me a question. "Why aren't you happy?" It was my turn to be shocked. I sat back on the chair. Looked at him inquisitively, trying to figure out what he's really trying to say.

Apparently he noticed my look and puzzlement so he explained. "I've seen you walk past by me at least once almost every night. You only have that smile when you see me and when you greet me. Before and after that you have nothing more than a blank face and eyes that scream 'Get me out of here!' Why is that?" I was dumbfounded and he waited eagerly for my reply. Finally I broke the silence with my reply. "The life I have right now is just not the life I dreamed nor envisioned nor planned for myself. I feel like I was uprooted. I had everything going as planned and suddenly...BOOM! Change of plans I had to emigrate here and start over. All my plans ruined, everything I worked so hard for put aside, even trashed. I'm glad I'm surviving, but I'm not happy with the way things are going."

"So you think happiness lies in the fulfillment of your plans? Of your desires?" He quickly asked. "No, no. Not just that...even this...what we're doing it makes me happy that I'm here and we get to talk and I get to help you about even if just for a day's meal. Y'know?" "That's it?!" He said is a sarcastic kind of manner. "Dude, if I thought of happiness the way you do, I won’t be surprised if I was flat in the center of that freeway and not on the sides of the off ramp."

I didn't quite get what he said right away, but he continued to explain before I could ask. "The key to happiness and contentment lies in you. It lies in your view of things, it depends on your outlook in life. Twenty years ago I was a lawyer with a name, a family, a house, cars and everything I wanted. I was not happy. One day things took a bad turn and I lost everything. Months later I found myself scouring the trash cans for food. But I learned to be content and grateful for whatever food I found in the trash. I learned to be content with whomever the company I had. I rejoiced with every moment I spent alive, with every new coat I found at the dumpster, with every penny I got from sticking my palms out at car windows. I indulge and I celebrate at the moment that I'm sharing with you right now, with the meal you have treated me to. And every time I could honestly say 'I've never been happier.' Happiness..., YOUR happiness depends on you."

I was blown away.

Saying my thoughts out loud once more....

I look around and see...people. Family, friends, foes, co-workers, former classmates, strangers...people. Every once in a while i stop and focus on one person and to my pleasure (or disgust) I find myself processing, dissecting, self-explaining, critiquing and immersing myself in my insights, memoirs and what-ifs about the person i'm focusing on.

Sometimes that's a way for me to release stress. Sometimes that's me just being mean, or nice, or bored, or high. Sometimes that's just me with a big crush (or grudge.)

Out of every couple dozen of people i spend time thinking of there would sometimes be one or two who would stand out. Usually this is because the person has either triggered my biatch mode, made me so freaking curious about himself/herself, or has swept me away with a sea of inspiration.

*shift*

It's funny how one thing leads to another. One moment I'm staring blankly into the window, then i'm rattling my keyboard, then i'm blogging without knowing what to blog about so i type my mind away, then i find something to back up my blog with, then i ransack old files and find a poem that is related to my post. What next? Anyway here's a poem written a while back as I was spending time thinking of someone. I'm glad to say this time i was thinking NOT because she turned my biatch mode on, neither because of sheer curiosity but because of inspiration.

*shift*

Wonder when my first coherent blog post would be? Hah! That would be the day.

*shift*

Anyway here's the poem.

Maybe
-rey

Maybe it’s the way you look at me with inquisitive eyes.
Maybe it’s the way you listen to my stories, sobs and sighs.
Maybe it’s the way you stun me with your frankness.
Maybe it’s the way you irritate me with your stubborness.
Maybe it’s the way you smile when I offer you a massage.
Maybe it’s the way you react when I ask questions,
how you dive and dodge.
Maybe it’s the way you gave me a chance, all those fateful days.
Maybe it’s the way you believed in me despite hear-says.
Maybe it’s the way you push me, or the way you pull.
Maybe it’s how cute you are when you pretend to be a fool.
Maybe its your little quips and antics.
Maybe it’s your jokes, wether corny, slapstick or satiric.
Maybe it’s the way you fall asleep as we talk.
Maybe it’s the way you do your signature walk.
Maybe its your spirituality and your set of principles.
Maybe it’s the way you make fun of me, how you jeer and giggle.
Maybe it’s the way you love and treat your family.
Maybe it’s the way you love and accept me for me.
Maybe it’s the confidence you give me when you’re in my car.
Maybe…maybe it’s because you’re not afraid
to be exactly who you are.

DISCLAIMER: I shall not be held responsible for injury, illness, insanity or death due to the effects of reading, digesting and contemplating on the works and thoughts of my bored psyche which have been published on this site. Hehehe. Surf these pages at your own risk.

Old Friends, New Memories

Finally I get a chance to post this up! It's been a while since these photos were taken and these events transpired but definitely still worth posting up and sharing.

Of all the places I could get reacquainted with old friends and batchmates from La Salle, I would have never expected to get to have a cig, a drink, a game of billiards and bowling, an all-nighter, a movie, nor a trip or two to the beach with them here in SoCal.

¤~¤~¤~¤~¤

De La Salle Lipa Batch 1998 in SoCal

Jhoane Katherine

Jhoane is a friend since freshman year in highschool in LaSalle.

Jhoane shares my passion for poetry and the arts. I still have the first poem she ever wrote me back during our sophomore year

After eight years of having no contact with each other we once again cross paths here in Glendale, California. She now resides just five minutes away in Eagle Rock.

Now, I have jogging buddy


Christine

Tin-tin has been around a year already. Currently she lives in Downey, California, a good 40 to 50 minutes drive south of Glendale. Kind of far but worth the drive.

Christine was a classmate of my bestfriend Francis Roy during our freshman year and such is how I got to know her. She's always been known as one of the head turners of the batch. Many times have the upper classes accused me and my friends of courting her when we were just good buddies. Oh well.

The few times I've actually got to just let go and have fun till the wee hours of the night here in Cali have been spent with her... yes, she knows how to party too.


Leslie

I've known Les since I was a freshman too as she was good friends with some of my classmates and old friends then. Currently she resides in Orange County.

After years, she still hasn't changed. Crazy and an all out party animal as usual...I can see now how much partying her lil' angel would be doing.


Jonathan

Atan has never changed since highschool. As Tin said, "Tamad pa rin." Hehehe. So far it seems he has been here for the longest time. He resides in Winnetka, a half hour drive from Glendale


Daniel

Neil is the one I've known the longest. I've known this guy since fourth grade in LaSalle. I've gone through a lot with this guy, from rivalries to alliances. From noontime games of "jerbase" to hunting robbers.

He currently stays at Mission Viejo, so far the furthest one from the lot of us here in the SoCal area.

¤~¤~¤~¤~¤

Snapshots (click on images for a bigger version)

Tin & Jho: Feeling pro beach volleyball players.
@ Venice Beach


Me & Jho: Tin got scared of the cold cplashes made by the waves...yan tuloy kami lang ni Jho ang nakapagpacute sa shot na to.
@ Vence Beach, photo by Tin


Tin: Argh! Traffic!
Rey: Hail Mary full of grace, help me find a parking space.
Jhoane: Zzzzzzzzzz...
In the car on the Pacific Coast Highway


Jho & Rey: Rub a dub dub here comes the grub!
@ Venice Beach


Tin: Can you hear me now?
@ Venice Beach


Presenting Jho, the bartender. Vodka, Peach Schnapps and Sprite.
@ Jho's crib


Rey: Ok let's try parallel parking.
Tin: Oh $#!+.....
In Downey, Tin gets some driving lessons.


Rey, Les, Tin & Jho @ The Block in Anaheim


Neil, Les, Tin & Jho @ The Block in Anaheim

Her Triad

I was browsing through a book of poetry a few days ago when I came upon a poem by Arthur Gorges entitled Her Face, Her Tongue, Her Wytt. I liked the style and the form of the poem and so I adapted the style in which it was composed and came up with my own poem with the same structure and similar subject.

Here goes.

Her Triad
-rey

Her Grace

Her grace
Has blessed
This life
Of mine.

This life
Of mine,
Her grace
It owes.

Such grace
She bestows.
My life,
Unworthy.

My life,
With passion,
Appreciates
Such grace.

Blessed grace
That showers,
Oh fill
This life.

And this life
Be indebted
To thine grace
Forever.

Her Smile

Her smile
Does entice
These eyes
Of mine.

These eyes
Of mine,
Her smile
They seek.

Oh smile
That beams,
My eyes
Bedazzle.

My eyes
Persevere
To behold
Such smile.

Enchanting smile
That glows
Entrance
These eyes.

And these eyes
Shall treasure
Thy smile
As peace.

Her Psyche

Her psyche
Has stunned
This heart
Of mine

This heart
Of mine,
Her psyche
Enthralls.

Such psyche
Overwhelms.
My heart
Succumbs.

My heart
Captivated.
Zombified.
Such psyche!

Deep psyche,
Unfathomable,
Bend and own
This heart.

And this heart
Shall beat
With thy psyche,
As one.

Repost - Kiss' Because I'm A Girl

This song and video is about a year or two old already, but still I can't help but watch the sad story and listen to the music. So here I am reposting this from an old xanga and blog of mine. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do, old though it may be.

Oh and please be patient, it might take a while to load. Also, this video should automatically play upon loading so there's no need to hit the play button to start it.

So here goes...Because I'm A Girl by Kiss.

Artist: KISS
Video: "Because I'm a Girl" Music Video
Album: KISS - 1st Album
Time: 8 min

Kiss - Because I'm a Girl Lyrics and Translation

Dodeche ar suga obso namjadurui maum
wonhar ten onjego da juni ije tonande
ironjog choumirago nonun thugbyorhadanun
gu marur midosso negen hengbogiosso

I just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time, you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyoda go
nunchiga obnun nan nur bochegiman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

modungor swibge da jumyon gumbang shirhjungnenunge
namjara durosso thollin mar gathjin anha
dashinun sogji anhuri maum mogo bojiman
todashi sarange munojinunge yoja ya

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyodago
nunchiga obnun nan nur boche giman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

[narration]

Onur urin heojyosso budi hengbogharago
noboda johun sarammannagir barandago
nodo darun namjarang togathe nar saranghanda go marhanten onjego
sorjighi na nega jar doenungo shirho
naboda yepun yoja manna hengboghage jar sarmyon otohge
guroda nar jongmar ijoborimyon otohge
nan irohge himdunde himduro juggenunde
ajigdo nor nomu saranghanunde

[narration]

Hey babe
the pain it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but I know now I've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever I needed you you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
even though you hurt me I still love you
I still love you

sarangur wihesoramyon modun da har su inun
yojaui chaghan bonnungur iyong hajinun marajwo
hanyojaro theona sarangbadgo sanunge
irohge himdurgo oryourjur mollasso

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything

Catching Up

Time to catch up!

It's been a while since I really "blogged", at least a year I believe. The last blog post I remember was still something I did for Tropang Buangz, which is long gone by now. Mostly I have just been using my blogspace as an online archive for my photos, prose and poetry. So, with the time I have now, which should be spent auditing and working, I have decided to "blog."

Hmmm...question now is...where do I begin?

April 30th - Malibu Retreat Center Hunting Day

A weekend I was so looking forward to after a week of corny, must-entertain jokes from sadist co-workers, hormonal bosses (two are pregnant) and everyday lunches of the same type of Hot Pockets (pepperoni) which never really filled me up.

So there we were, Clete by the driver's seat, moi (pronounced as moy per the RnR Dictionary 1st Edition) on the fron passenger seat, and at the back seat of Clete's truck where Rheza and Teresa (Clete's daughter). Teresa had quite a sour stomach that day, poor lil' angel.

The first scheduled stop is the Salvation Army's Camping Grounds but we missed it on the way to Malibu so we decided to check out the Serra Retreat Center First which was owned and run by the Franciscans. The view from the retreat center was B-E-A-Utiful! A garden complete with benches was situated atop a cliff which overlooked some hills on one side, Pepperdine University on the side as well, and up front was the beach! The retreat center also had a nice and simple but beautiful labyrinth made of rocks with the center, and end, of the labyrith being a cross. Perfect for a retreat session/reflection on life! Clete, Rhez and I unanimously decided to use this venue for one of the Core Team's retreats.

Here are some photos taken at Serra Retreat Center (click on photos to see larger versions)


A view of the cliff garden that overlooks the beach and the hills.


Rheza sitting by the cliff's edge.


The labyrinth.

After dropping by the gift shop we started to head back through the canyon trying to find the Salvation Army Camps. This time around we found the campsites. Teresa was still not feeling well and was left in the truck taking a nap while Clete, Rheza and i went around the two camp sites for a look-see. The place was huge and had complete facilities, conference rooms, mess halls, lodges and cabins, courts, swimming pools, campfire pits, wall climbing, a teepee, even frisbee golf! The works I tell you! Camp Gilmore, the smaller area, was the one we opted to rent out for one of the retreats.

Here are some snapshots from the campsites! (Click on images to see larger versions.)


Rhez with her freebie lemonade and Clete...swing swing!


Moi & Clete...this is THE life.


A stream that flows through the Salvation Army's campsites.

After Camp Gilmore all our stomachs started grumbling and we headed back down the canyon towards the freeway, but first, a quick stop at Mickey D's (ika nga ng pinoy...McDo.)

Rheza and Teresa went to confession courtesy of the "bothered" Fr. John Kyebasuuta (is it two "u"s or two "a"s?) After that and a quick chat with Clete & Rheza, which knocked some sense into me, `twas off to Borders Bookstore, one of the little Heaven's on Earth, to pick up Ralph, then homeward bound.

May 1st Teresa's First Communion

Teresa had her first communion during the LifeTeen Youth Mass at 5:30PM After which the teens got together with Clete, his family, and his wife's family to celebrate. Too bad Clete, Emeroy, I were not able to take pictures of Teresa actually having her first communion since we were all serving. But here is a group photo taken after mass and during cleanup!


Holy Family Youth Ministry...well a fraction of it.


At the back of Clete's truck.

Sushi Cravings

...It's my lunch break and I'm craving sushi...so I'll write some haikus.
The connection? Go figure...


Bamboo

bending with the breeze
on an enchanting spring day --
humble bamboo sways.


Firefly

little dancing light
flickering by the river --
glow 'till forever.


Sleepyhead

slurring speech i hear
incoherent blabbering --
my dear sleepyhead.

A Baby Boy's Letter To His Parents

...saw a few snapshots of aborted babies, remembered an old forwarded email i had but can't find it, so i rewrote it fro memory and added my own tak on it. here goes...


Dear Mommy and Daddy,

How are you doing? I hope and pray that you are both happy and healthy. As for me I'm having fun listening to Jesus' stories all day. You see, He never gets tired no matter how many times i ask him questions about his wonderful stories. I'm really having fun here in Heaven. I can't wait until we all get together again. Jesus said that hopefully soon we will all have a big reunion and if you and Daddy stay nice and good you will be invited to the reunion! I hope you make it, coz...well, i never got to see your faces and I have lots of things I'd like to say and do with both of you. And Jesus knows how much I wanted to meet you and be your son.

Mommy, Daddy, I hope you're not mad at me that I didn't make it. You see, I fought really hard. It was painful, so painful but I really tried my best to make it. I wanted to touch you, live with you and get to know you, but it was too powerful, too painful. I was in a dark but comfortable place, and I felt you Mommy all the time, even though I didn't see you, and I usually heard Daddy's voice too every once in a while. I was confused how I got there but I was just happy to know you were both nearby. Somehow I always felt connected to you both, and Mommy I always felt your presence so strong, we must have really had a good connection Mommy, too bad it didn't last.

Did you know Mommy that I usually felt sad when you were crying? Did you know that I cried with you too? Did you know that it hurt me when you were hurt and it made me happy when you were happy? Daddy, did you know I heard your voice too? I so wanted to see you too Daddy! When I felt my fingers and toes I became so happy because somehow I felt like the time I would see you was coming soon. I was so excited. I tried to sleep nd dream of us all together to while away the time so I don't get overly excited and because the wait was too much.

Sometimes Daddy, I hear you and Mommy yelling, then I felt mommy crying and it made me sad...I hope that right now you are both ok. Mommy, I hope you don't cry as much anymore...I would not want to know you're crying again. It reminds me of the day I left you. You were crying so much that day Mommy, and it made me sad. I worried so much about you both that day, how I wished I could have seen and touched you and made you feel better. That same day the most terrible thing happened. Someone, something came inside that dark place that I was in. It tried to grab me! I did my best to fight it off. But I couldn’t. I remember screaming and calling you for help Mommy. But it seemed you could not hear me. I tried to call you too Daddy but you seemed even farther away. It finally grabbed my arms and started crushing it. It hurt so bad I screamed even louder. But still neither one of you heard me. The pain was so intense but I tried my best to fight it. Then It took hold of my legs and did the same, cracking them little by little and tearing them off my body. How I worried about both of you, Mommy and Daddy, I hoped that thing did not get you too. I knew then that I was not going to make it. I felt myself getting weaker by the second. Though no matter how weak I felt the pain didn’t go away. I did my best to whisper to you Mommy that I love you and to you too Daddy, but I guess my voice was too weak for you to hear. Seconds later I just felt the hurting stop. Then I found myself here, with Jesus. I asked Him who He was and He told me not to worry and that he was my Big Brother. I asked Him if both of you were ok and He said that you were both fine, what a relief I felt! Then I asked Him what happened to me and He said, “Abortion. I’m sorry little brother, I know it hurt but it’s all over now.” I did not exactly understand but I guess that was the name of that evil thing. Please understand Mommy and Daddy that I really wanted to be your son, that I really fought hard even though it was too painful to bear, and most specially that I love you both so much.

I didn’t want to die Mommy. I didn’t want to leave you Daddy. I wanted to have fun with you and put smiles on your faces, make you proud. I wanted to hear your voices, I wanted to feel your love, I wanted to share my love with you as well. I wanted to play basketball and football and soccer and baseball. I wanted to be a doctor. But I guess all that is gone now, same with all my other dreams. I’m sorry really but I wasn’t strong enough to fight Abortion. I knew you were strong enough to fight it though, Mommy and Daddy, I believed in you and I knew that if only you were there, if only you heard my screams, I know you would have come to my rescue and stopped Abortion because you both have the power and the abilities to stop it for me. Alas, you were not able to hear me. But please don’t worry about me anymore, I have lots of friends here, millions of them are like me too, victims of that evil monster, Abortion. One of my friends here said that about 126,000 of the new friends of ours who arrived here in Heaven just yesterday were all victims of that same monster. I’m happy to have more new friends but I’m sad that they had to suffer the same fate I did. Mommy, Daddy, can you please tell everyone to find this monster and stop it?

Anyway, I pray for you everyday. I miss you both and I love you oh so much! Thanks for the fun times Mommy and Daddy, I’m really sorry I didn’t make it. And please do take care.

Hope to see you in the grand reunion! I’ll always be loving you.


Love,

Your Baby Boy

Can't Hold It In Any Longer

Breaking The Silence
(Oh well...)
-=icewulf=-

Apalling.
Stories. Fantasies.
Fabrications. Fabrications.
Inconsistencies. Anomalies

Bothersome.
Insignificant. A pity.
Desperate maneuvers.
Nevertheless, prickly.

Creative.
Elaborate facade.
Vivid projections.
Pranks turned bad.

Deceitful.
Friend or foe?
Whispered "Yes."
Resounding "No."

Exemplary.
Multiple attacks.
Single foe.
Fortified barracks.

Failure.
The inevitable.
All against one.
Still unbeatable.

Gods' play.
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
Delusional idiots.
Brains missed and mixed.

Hungry.
For vengeance?
Played for fools again?
There was no such instance.

Ignoramus.
Fitting term.
Retrace your footsteps.
Before you blame, confirm.

Justice.
Hypocrites!
A word unbeknownst to your lot.
Let it go, just quit.

My Reply

Last night, I finally got to reply to Him when he asked me for the third time in the past two weeks.

...And so He stared me right in the eyes, with a mischievous smile on His face. "That much huh?", said He. I felt my cheeks heat up as I blushed. I turned my gaze and looked down at my tightly clenched and cold hands and said, "Yeah, that much."

Paw-etry

Many times have I actually experienced how God uses regular human beings like me, my friends, family and loved ones to inspire, to move and to keep in touch with me.

Sometimes though I get too blinded to see God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and even Mary working with me through others or even through myself. Let me share though one recent event wherein I felt and saw the grace of the Blessed Mother. An event which rekindled the fire of the Spirit within me and awakened me and reminded me of a covenant I almost forgot about.

I Sat Beside Mary
-=icewulf=-

`Twas early in the afternoon.
The sun was bright and the sky was clear.
Pen and paper I held in my hands.
As I sat on the carpet by a wooden chair.
I had a short day at work
Yet I was tired nonetheless.
And I still had a full day ahead of me
But I did not care less.
For I sat beside Mary
Yes she sat next to me.

I had a storm of problems to think of.
I had bills that had to be paid.
Got issues that needed to be dealt with.
There were people to talk to and things to say.
I had an unkept room
Plus a ton of laundry.
I had an entire house to tidy
Yet I did not worry.
Because I sat beside Mary
Oh how blessed could I be?!

`Twas Good Friday and I was in dismay.
My Brother died that day.
The world was in tears
And all I could do was pray.
Darkness clouded my mind as I thought of His death.
My veins ran dry and my feet were cold and wet.
My guilt filled me up and my heart was heavy.
But I sat beside Mary
And she consoled me,
`He`ll be back this Sunday sweetie.`

~~~~~~~~~~~~



Pards, thanks for being the miracle.

...but I sat beside Mary and she changed me.

Bounty Of The Hunt

Discerning Trust
-=icewulf=-

Trust. A simple word which essense has the power to change and shape lives, worlds and history. So powerful it is feared by many. So powerful it is only shared with a handful. So powerful it is more often just heard about than seen in actions.

I feared trust. I feared trusting and expecting. I feared sharing my trust with anyone. And I know many more who shared my sentiments regarding trust. I have met people who have gone through truckloads of pain and anguish, betrayal and suffering just because they attempted to trust.

Lately I have been finding myself deep in thought thinking about what it means to trust, why I always get disappointed whenever I trust and why others feel the same way I do.

I think I might have found the answers to my own questions.

For as long as I have learned to trust I only trusted two types of entities, God and man. And as far as I remember God has never failed me. However, the trust I have placed on my relationships with human beings has always been betrayed in one way or another, in ways big and small. With this realization I began to immerse myself in reflection even more.

So, I have come to this conclusion. We human beings are weak and imperfect. Hence the trust we can give and answer to as well as our trustworthiness is just as weak and as imperfect. God though is perfect, strong and divine. Therefore trust in Him is well founded. Such is why only God may validly claim never to betray us. We have neither the capability nor the strength to make and expect such claims of each other.

Therefore, during the times that I gave up on people for not living up to what I expected of them, of their promises, of having given their word of honor, was trust actually broken? Or, have I merely expected too much of another human being? And should I have also broken the person`s trust in me by leaving just because he/she did not keep his/her word?

Now I believe I know better. Had there been grave transgression such as criminal acts and severe maltreatment, exploitation and neglect to one`s social, physical, emotional and spiritual health - then I believe that without a doubt stepping away from this danger WITHOUT a gist of betrayal but instead with a feel of discretion and caution is a fitting reaction. However reasons such as rumors, feeling hurt, clashes of opinions, uncomfortable actions and feelings and other irksome but non-immoral human actions and behavior are totally different. Abandoning a friend for having been too insensitive is a misunderstanding of the spirit of trust, just the same as rejecting a religion or community because of an alleged injustice.

The trust we human beings possess is not supposed to be driven, manipulated nor controlled by our emotions but by will and by faith.

Trust is like love. It should be given without expecting anything in return. It is to be given `inspite of` and not `because of.`

Prowls On THe Net

Your Love Style is AGAPE

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What`s Your Love Style?

Cancer - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with Your negative traits: Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down. Your ideal partner: Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt! Your dating style: Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another. Your seduction style: Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship. Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild. Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac. Tips for the future: Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you. Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing. Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first. Best color to attract mate: Aqua Best day for a date: Wednesday Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

Frozen Frames

Holy Week is here and so Holy Family`s LifeTeen Youth Ministry is back rehearsing for the Passion play which we do annually (during Good Friday). During last night`s practices we took a few snapshots and discovered some of the "unheard of" stations of the cross.

The Unheard Of Stations

The 3 1/2 Station
John Is Mugged By A Woman From Jerusalem



The 6 1/2 Station
Veronica Turns Emo-Punk



The 7 1/2 Station
Angel Teresa Appears By The Fridge



The 8 1/2 Station
Angel Teresa Consoles A Woman From Jerusalem



The 13 1/3 Station
Mary Fights A Woman From Jerusalem For The Body Of Jesus



The 13 2/3 Station
Mary Is Victorious



~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here are more photos from yesterday`s rehearsal:

Karen finds her costume a bit too big for her...



Rey, Sandie, Rheza & Noelle



Noelle, Sandie & Rey



Rey & Sandie



R&R (Rey & Rheza)

Bounty Of The Hunt

Getting Back On Track
-=icewulf=-

It's Holy Week 2005 and what better time to retrace one`s footsteps, find one`s self and get back on track.

The past months have given me some of the worst days, situations and events. They are also responsible for my crossing paths with many people whom in some ways have hurt me and made my world go topsy turvy. BUT, these months also gave me some of the choicest blessings God had ever prepared for me.

It`s been a really long while. But had I been given the chance to go back and change anything, I'd keep it as it is.

Brothers and sisters, I'm back. Thank you for your prayers, thank you for waiting.

So if you`re all ready, gear up! Your "kuya" is back with the flames of the Spirit burning stronger, with an new cherubim watching over me (I miss you Recca) and with a tag team partner who`s one of the holiest and most gifted I`ve met. (Let's do this Rheza!)

I Embrace

I Embrace
-rey

Not only the sunshine but also the rain,
Not only the light but also the shadows.
Not only the bliss but also the pain,
Not only the kisses but also the blows.

Not only the certain but also the doubtful,
Not only the rational but also the insanity.
Not only the calm but also the chaos,
Not only the freedom but also the decrees.

Not only the triumphs but also the failures,
Not only the angel but also the demon.
Not only the future but also the past and present,
Not only the acclaimed but also the forgone.

Paw-etry

...to a very dear friend: i'm with you all the way.

Heads You Win, Tails I Lose
-=icewulf=-

Heads you win, tails I lose.
Nowhere out no matter what I choose.
I know the situation,
I know this predicament.
A scene all too familiar
Either path leads to discontent.

Yet still I tread, still i travel.
Awaiting what each dawn has to unravel.
I know it`s near impossible,
I know it`s hard and treacherous.
I know the risks involved
I know there's a big chance I'd lose.

But my vision is worth the risk.
I`m willing to run through darkness and mist.
For sure people will get hurt,
And I would be eaten by my conscience.
But for sure I will not let go,
No matter how much you test my patience.

Paw-etry

...i thought i ran out of words, but i realized words nor actions just ain`t enough.

Indescribable You
-=icewulf=-

No words can express my gratitude,
No actions can reveal my true emotions.
You leave me in awe and admiration
With your great love and dedication.

No kiss can expose how much love I have,
No hug can declare how much longing I feel.
You turn my world upside down and inside out.
You`re the one I can`t do without.

No heart could be filled by the love you give,
No soul could contain the inspiration that you are.
A true divine power is what you wield.
A love so strong it ended my war.

No mind can fathom the depths of your soul,
No equation may solve what equals your heart.
All that I know is that I'm blessed with your loyalty,
And blessed with your love, ever since the start.

Paw-etry

...yes I survive, but not by my own power... presenting the miracle that makes me survive...

Surviving
-=icewulf=-

I wake up each day with a smile on my face.
I face each day with love in my heart.
I take pride in my heart for it`s found solace
Within your bosom. Bathed by the love you impart.

I go through each day with inspiration in my soul,
A spark in my mind and with my eyes all a-glow.
All thanks to you my day goes well.
Daily foes faced, daily storms quelled.

I rest my eyes at nightfall with glows still bright.
I rest my torso still filled with the will to fight.
I rest my being still alive and ready to take flight.
Thanks to you, the setting of the sun seems not like night.

I survive each passing day from daybreak till nightfall.
I survive each day with the greatest blessing of all.
I survive each day with you all around me.
I survive each day because you make me as amazing as I can be.

Paw-etry

...something i wrote a few days ago...thank God the tears have stopped falling =)


Falling Tears
-=icewulf=-

Little droplets
Of love and pain
Why do you trickle?
Why do you rain?

Falling tears
Why do you descend?
Why flood my cheeks?
Is this the end?

Love is lost.
No time to cry.
Please not now.
Must find out why.

Falling tears
Please, not yet.
Got a war to win,
A prize to get.

Little droplets
Of love and pain
Why do you trickle?
Why do you rain?

...I'm glad at present i'm "not home" anymore.


Back Home
-=icewulf=-

The darkness and the shadows,
My home, my refuge.
I left once empowered by inspiration.
Yet I returned with my soul lost in oblivion.
I left again with my path lighted by hope.
And again I returned with wings bound by delusion`s rope.
I left once more driven by faith
And now I return with my heart on a plate.

No matter how far I go,
No matter how hard I try,
No matter how fast I run,
Always, I come back and cry.

Eternal darkness must I embrace
For in the shadows is my place.
Forever lost shall I be
Till she comes back, loving me.

...i hope you don't but if you do, here's what i`ll say


I`ll Say
-=icewulf=-

You can ignore me,
You can set me aside.
Hide from me,
Make me search far and wide.

And after a tiresome search,
When I finally find you,
I`ll just say....
`I missed you.`

You can treat me like dirt,
Make every bone in me hurt.
Make me lower than low,
Douse my fire till nothing glows.

Then when you go through your trials
And find yourself alone in an isle.
I`ll stretch my broken arm and say....
`Let me help you.`

You can make me hope for naught,
And then leave me in distraught.
Make me believe in a promise,
Then leave me just before bliss.

But when you find yourself in disillusion,
Clouded by lies and thrown into confusion.
I`ll come and whisper in your ear....
`Fear not. I am here.`

You can treat me with disrespect.
Insult my being, heart, soul and intellect.
Cast me out of your life,
And clad my future with strife.

But when you`re at your lowest,
Rejected even by friends and family,
I`ll hug you tight and when you ask why I`ll say....
`I love you silly.`

Random Howl

Let Me
-=icewulf=-

Let me be your sword,
Let me be your shield.
Let me be the powers that you wield.

Let me be your smile,
Let me be your tears.
Let me be the one who takes away your fears.

Let me be your pillar,
Let me be your light.
Let me be your guide through the darkest night.

Let me be your voice,
Let me be your song.
Let me be the tune to which you sing along.

Let me be your dream tonight,
Let me be your charming knight.
Let me protect your soul of ivory white.

Let me be your morning rays,
Let me be your happy days.
Let me be the one who stays.

Random Howl

...goodnight!

Sleep Tight My Baby
-=icewulf=-

Sleep tight my baby, shed not a tear.
Tonight I`ll hold you tight and hold you near.
Sleep tight my baby, you need not fear.
Your Bitch will be watchin` so boogeyman stays clear.

Sleep tight my baby with a smile on your face.
I`d be right beside you watching over this place.
Sleep tight my baby with a smile in your heart.
Tonight, love and security to you I impart.

Sleep tight my baby, do sleep well.
For tonight I watch over you, your guardian angel.

Paw-etry

...fears, everyone has them...

I Fear
-=icewulf=-

Fear.
Four letters, one word.
Able to shed a simple tear.
Or strew discord.

Fear.
It grants and takes power.
I have my own shares of it
Which I'm cursed to shed and reap forever.

I fear my rage.
I fear the abyss of my subliminal self.
I fear the demons within me.
I fear the pandemonium I can so willingly set free.

I fear the voices in my head.
I fear my eternally tormented soul.
I fear the wrath of my inner whelp.
I fear myself.


I fear an empty future.
I fear an eternity of solitude.
I fear having no one beside me.
I fear being the lone wolf for an eternity.

I fear having no one to turn to.
I fear losing my grip on your heart.
I fear the day you`d say adieu.
I fear losing you.

Rage of the Wulf

...i hope you all get to read this and let it seep in really deep and understand it really well. I've had enough. It's your call.

Bring Me Down
-=icewulf=-

Silence.
They stir an angry mob but remain in silence.
Ah.
Another masterplan designed for their convenience.

Kudos.
I applaud you for your efforts.
Alas.
I look down upon you and your `skills` of sorts.

Motive.
What is it you seek?
Retribution.
Retribution for the meek?

Prophets.
False prophets you have become.
Pathetic.
What makes you think I`m what you are, caged and lonesome.

Delusions.
Still shooting at the stars?
Pitiful.
You will only end up counting your scars.

Remember,
I ignore your lashing and backstabbing.
However,
Every word you have sowed I`ve been noting.

Chaos.
I want it not, but don`t take me wrong.
Bedlam.
It`s what I`m known for. My song.

Secrets.
Ah, you can try and keep them.
Wisdom.
That`s my weapon of choice `till I sing your requiem.


Hide.
Disguise yourselves, you`re getting good at it.
Seek.
I need not seek. I see right through your feat.

Run.
If you`re smart enough you should know.
Fate.
Your fates have sealed your lives accursed, I avow.

Finger.
Not a finger need I lift.
Smiter.
He shall take you down. He shall deliver my gift.

Farewell.
Maybe this is farewell, once friends.
See.
Let`s see what happens when I`m done and all this ends.

Paw-etry

...to the bastard from the bitch. :)

Terms of Endearment
-=icewulf=-

Bitch!
Bastard!
Oh my,
For the love of God!

Bitch! You didn't listen!
I told you not to make me fall!
You are my bestfriend,
Can't believe you did this to me at all!

Bastard! I never promised!
And that's because I knew.
I was already falling.
Don't tell me you didn't notice it too?!

Bitch! Now I'm in love!
See what you've done?!
I'm supposed to be a cynic!
Not someone else's "hun! "

Bastard! Well so am I!
Head over heels as a matter of fact!
And I was supposed to be cold,
Not quick to react!

Bitch!
Bastard!
I love you, take care of my heart, PLEASE.
I love you too, I PROMISE, now gimme a kiss.

Paw-etry

...di inaasahan...NGUNIT...


Ngunit
-=icewulf=-

Minsan ay di inaasahang nakita,
At siya ay aking naaalala.
Minsan ay saglit ko siyang nakausap,
At siya ay aking hinanap-hanap.
Minsan siya`y aking napapanaginipan,
At muling nakita ngiti niyang ginintuan.
Minsan ay pinalaso ako ni kupido,
Ngunit bago pa man ay nahulog na ang aking puso.

Paw-etry

...at least we know what's REALLY going on.


Kasi Naman
-=icewulf=-

Kasi naman ang daming nakikidawdaw.
Kasi naman di naman alam ang nasasaklaw.
Kasi naman di na diretsohin.
Kasi naman hindi baga kausapin.
Kasi naman di alam ang nangyayari.
Kasi naman ang daming "nagmamayari."

Kasi naman hayaan na lang.
Kasi naman di pagbigyan, pagkatiwalaan.
Kasi naman di alam ang tunay na kalagayan.
kasi naman di alam ang tunay na kaganapan.
Kasi naman nakikiusap na.
Kasi naman ngayon lang, pagbigyan na.

Kasi naman nahulog ang loob.
Kasi naman nagbago nang totoo.
Kasi naman tunay na nagmamahal.
Kasi naman tunay na pinagtambal.

Paw-etry

...my way of saying thanks to one amazing lady...i love you.

The New Me
-=icewulf=-

Harlem nights.
Prize for catfights.
Flirts galore.
Knocking on doors.

Guns, goons, gold.
Picturesque "bold".
The legend.
Scythe of the end.

That WAS me.
But now I see.
Alternatives.
Your love and bliss.

I have learned.
My back has turned.
Love expressed.
Demons suppressed.

No more lies.
No wails and cries.
Past is passed.
Now hold me fast.

A new vision.
Big decision.
I chose light.
I chose to fight.

I chose love.
Trust Him, above.
I go straight.
Carry my own weight.

Bye I say.
To my old ways.
Decision
A new reason.

I chose you.
Choose to be true.
The new me.
Thank you baby.

Paw-etry

Overwhelmed
-=icewulf=-

I know I love you
And I know you love me too,
But you just blew me away..
What else could I say!

Thanks for the sincerity,
I felt it a lot
Thanks for the honesty,
I will forget it not!

How sweet of you to love me the way you do
I'm so blessed to be loved by someone so true.
Worry not I will be patient and flexible
I will do my best to be both sensitive and sensible.
I will love you every day as if tomorrow will never come
I will cherish you to the fullest...and then some!
Know how much I am grateful that you came into my life.
Know that I'm sincere when I say `I wish you`d be my wife.`

As for your concerns, be not afraid.
Your requests are heard and shall be done and made.
Worry not of my character, I shall be true.
Worry not of my thoughts, they're all about you.
When you need something of me, you need not ask..
I will have already thought of it and completed the task.
Service to you my queen is my utmost priority.
Just as well is your comfort, peace of mind and security.
To be understanding at all times is one of my goals.
To be there when you smile and when you cry,
To be your punching bag when you're in the coals.