Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Bounty Of The Hunt

Discerning Trust
-=icewulf=-


Trust. A simple word which essense has the power to change and shape lives, worlds and history. So powerful it is feared by many. So powerful it is only shared with a handful. So powerful it is more often just heard about than seen in actions.

I feared trust. I feared trusting and expecting. I feared sharing my trust with anyone. And I know many more who shared my sentiments regarding trust. I have met people who have gone through truckloads of pain and anguish, betrayal and suffering just because they attempted to trust.

Lately I have been finding myself deep in thought thinking about what it means to trust, why I always get disappointed whenever I trust and why others feel the same way I do.

I think I might have found the answers to my own questions.

For as long as I have learned to trust I only trusted two types of entities, God and man. And as far as I remember God has never failed me. However, the trust I have placed on my relationships with human beings has always been betrayed in one way or another, in ways big and small. With this realization I began to immerse myself in reflection even more.

So, I have come to this conclusion. We human beings are weak and imperfect. Hence the trust we can give and answer to as well as our trustworthiness is just as weak and as imperfect. God though is perfect, strong and divine. Therefore trust in Him is well founded. Such is why only God may validly claim never to betray us. We have neither the capability nor the strength to make and expect such claims of each other.

Therefore, during the times that I gave up on people for not living up to what I expected of them, of their promises, of having given their word of honor, was trust actually broken? Or, have I merely expected too much of another human being? And should I have also broken the person`s trust in me by leaving just because he/she did not keep his/her word?

Now I believe I know better. Had there been grave transgression such as criminal acts and severe maltreatment, exploitation and neglect to one`s social, physical, emotional and spiritual health - then I believe that without a doubt stepping away from this danger WITHOUT a gist of betrayal but instead with a feel of discretion and caution is a fitting reaction. However reasons such as rumors, feeling hurt, clashes of opinions, uncomfortable actions and feelings and other irksome but non-immoral human actions and behavior are totally different. Abandoning a friend for having been too insensitive is a misunderstanding of the spirit of trust, just the same as rejecting a religion or community because of an alleged injustice.

The trust we human beings possess is not supposed to be driven, manipulated nor controlled by our emotions but by will and by faith.

Trust is like love. It should be given without expecting anything in return. It is to be given `inspite of` and not `because of.`